Not a poem, nor prose, it's porn

Issa feeling

Friend 1: I have a kink for BDSM, especially the ones with bloody violence

Friend 2: I have never watched porn

friend 3: I can only watch two men having sex and I am not even Gay

What the world sees and wants you to see them seeing are two different things. An Indian site has a video upload as soon as I open it (Yeah, a lot of sites were banned after SC’s judgment but many remain active), and the “ Sex With beggar girl” banner pops up in my face. Another 30 min video below that boasts- “Fucking my friend’s wife in the ass”. Dirty Indian Sex, Indian MMS, Indian Porn Movies. Free beautiful Indian xxx girls!…… A sled of posing women and men, more or less without consent uploads and many which show the girl’s face and pussy even as the guy hides his torso is a norm. I fidget with the live cams and being the armchair detective I am, I try to think of which video stars are unaware of their fate online. I went without browsing any porn for years and some days I have needed it every day. Who is to have a say? The Supreme Court? Boyfriend?

What you find hot is a cringe with the Supreme Court and what I search when I get horny is different from what my brother would. What happens on the bed is everyone’s business but the people doing it. I talk about poems I read, giving trigger warnings. I cite book recommendations- Fiction/Non-fiction. But when I want to talk porn, I feel I have to whisper or rather confide. Or just shut up. Pornhub — the largest pornography site on the Internet — reported that there were a total of 87.8 billion porn videos or clips viewed in 2015, which translates to about 12 porn videos viewed by every person on Earth. People don’t want to talk about porn.

I think we definitely need to talk about the impact that porn has, but at the same time, I still feel like we don’t hold Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones responsible for the violence — so why is porn responsible for what we’re showing about sex?- Jacky James

Coffee fiends

I had asked my virtual family on Insta as to how many cups of coffee they considered healthy. To pick a number. Fireworksonwinternight, a kind and amazing developmental psychologist and my constant supporter/reader said 2 only. The attention on ‘Only’ is apparent with Shreya whereas the same is lost on Nenzoned who thinks 2 cups is a healthy number of caffeine chugs. Neerav exclaimed 4 as his lucky number. Taste matters a lot for a number to settle into the gut for Elric, the Polyglot. For Romita, a content creator 6 is not an extreme number of cups of coffee while Aditya Gaurav has cut down from 8 shots to 2 these days. Shubham, a UPSC mentor at Vidyapeethias chides that coffee is something he has outside. Never at home. Many said 9, some said 1. But the winner was clearly 3. Like one for breakfast, one for lunch, and another in the evening or post-dinner. Right? It made sense to me. Compartmentalizing.

Long back, as a child, I was attuned to emotions that were of hurt and passivity of time. I could not see people sad or bereft of their loved ones. It has nothing to do with how I have been brought up as. But everything has to do with how I want my life and living a life of finding things, people, and words are how I wish to grow.

“Does someone you know have gaps in their life history? Do you know someone with this distinctive double ridge on his right ear? Is there someone in your life, your street, or your community that might be Andrew?”

Since his disappearance, Andrew’s dad Kevin has continued to raise awareness and search for answers about his son. He works closely with the national charity Missing People, collating useful information to help the wider public in their search for Andrew. This information is available via Kevin’s blog: http://helpustofindandrew.weebly.com/

If you search for which mysteries people want to get solved before they die- they will answer with the disappearance of Andrew Gosden. Andrew Gosden was 20 days older than me. He disappeared from Central London on 14 September 2007 when he was 14 years old. Leaving his home in Doncaster, South Yorkshire, Andrew withdrew £200 from his bank account and bought a one-way ticket to London. He was last seen on CCTV leaving King's Cross station. Despite numerous national appeals, Gosden’s reason for traveling to London that day and his subsequent fate have never been established. Lastly, in October 2019 a new age-progression image of Gosden was released. And it is radio silence for most parts. It will always be. Maybe not?

There are a number of cases that haunt me. I will slowly document my own views about Indian cases in the future. But for now, these cases keep me up at the night. Sometimes I don’t sleep at all.

In the Tv series, Squid Game- the pain of being poor and the price the poor have to pay for entertainment purposes for the rich has reached a new vantage point. Sickening yet not fanciful. Reality might hit harder. If there is anything I had to recommend to you from K-Drama it has to be Netflix's Squid Game. 400+ contestants enter an island to play to die. 1 emerges a winner. The end is a new beginning in itself. This show taught me the value of friendships and showed me the real grit, the way life is underpriced/overpriced by those who think they can escape with just anything. There is also an Inspector who tries to intervene but eventually lucks out. Every death is imprinted in a slow-mo-death sequence. I started watching Alice In Borderland. A similar show of life or death. I can not seem to get enough of the crime nuggets.

An initial period of concentration—conscious, directed attention—needs to be followed by some amount of unconscious processing. Mathematicians will often speak of the first phase of this process as “worrying” about a problem or idea. It’s a good word, because it evokes anxiety and upset while also conjuring an image of productivity: a dog worrying a bone, chewing at it to get to the marrow—the rich, meaty part of the problem that will lead to its solution. In this view of creative momentum, the key to solving a problem is to take a break from worrying, to move the problem to the back burner, to let the unwatched pot boil.

What can the Chinese bamboo tree teach us about growth? It has to be cared for every single day. It doesn’t break through the ground for 5 years, but once it breaks through, it can grow up to 100 feet in 5 weeks. Lesson: Be patient. Growth happens gradually, then suddenly.

Leave a comment

A Book To Change Your Life Without Doing Much Except Reading It

  1. The Story of Philosophy: The Lives and Opinions of the Great Philosophers (Read a chapter a day and absorb it because it is not written to read but rather change the way you think and that will take time)

  2. Akashic Records and Twin Flames: An Essential Guide to the Secret Nature of the Akasha and Attracting Your Twin Flame (A step up from what I read in astrology and now am moving onto detailed horoscopes, the concept of twin flames Akashic records)

  3. Meditations: A New Translation (OG read)

  4. Total Freedom: The Essential Krishnamurti (All great men of our times have read Krishnamurti and that is the only reason I did. Mind blown)

  5. The Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Wealth and Happiness (There is nothing to match up the wisdom in the pages of Naval’s mind)


10 LINKS YOU CAN NOT MISS

  1. ASMR MUKBANG Spicy convenience store food

  2. Bob Moses - Tearing Me Up

  3. A young woman finds a one-night stand. But he lives 2 hours away via public transit

  4. tEXt - Horror Short Film

  5. Kangana Ranaut With Arnab Goswami

  6. Why are Instagram Models always in Dubai?

  7. Sarah Jessica’s Favourite Artist’s NPR

  8. Investigative journalism: A look back at 15 Spotlight Team projects that changed Boston and beyond

  9. A must-bookmark for readers!

  10. Former porn star Bree Olson goes public: ‘I’m shunned by society’

  11. Bonus because we are briefly hassling with Porn as our theme- In an opinion piece accompanying the video, Olson writes that she receives no money from her porn career now, despite the fact, her pornographic images and videos are still viewed countless times online.

Share Belladonnaoflavender’s Newsletter

“Cops, being neither human nor animal, do not dream. They don’t need to, they’ve got teargas. Don’t expect me to justify that. I mean, you know as well as I do that cops have got access to the content of all of our dreams.” — Sean Bonney, from Our Death

Wrote this Newsletter listening to some head shaking Techno

This is a free newsletter but not cheap. If you love it, consider supporting it by liking and sharing this newsletter. This letter is reader-supported, hence the lack of ads and sponsors. I don’t get much feedback on my newsletters, so I’m not sure how many people actually read them. If you do, please feel free to drop me a note or hit the “like” on the newsletter

Share

Leave a comment