I jab into your mouth, this Newsletter, this tongue

this mind, this soul: 10 Articles Worth Reading

What is Entelechy? - To become what one truly is

To reach and outreach your true potential

What would you never lose by losing your being? What would that be?-begs to be asked

The perennial quest to be eloquent in my newsletter is nothing in front of the quest of my why I wish my messages were heard far and wide- guilt, shame, and my anxiety in shambles, I write. I think. My interview where I talk about books and the community has been featured on @readerly’s Space. I am elated that I can own space in a big space which I can call mine.

I become what I think. “From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in him; but wounds, and bruises, and putrefying sores: they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment” (Isaiah 1:6)

My nature is not anymore autonomous. It is ambivalent. Unresolved and precipitating with time. I want to build myself like how I know to be true. With you. Today, I decided to understand and spend some time learning more about Substack and Importing/Exporting emails.

Never to have been born is best but if we must see the light, the next best is quickly returning whence we came. When youth departs, with all its follies, Who does not stagger under evils? Who escapes them?- Sophocles

One could not have been formed by anything other than the particular gametes that produced the zygote from which one developed. This implies, in turn, that one could not have had any genetic parents other than those that one does have. It follows from this that any person’s chances of having come into existence are extremely remote. The existence of any one person is dependent not only on that person’s parents themselves having come into existence and having met them but also on their having conceived that person at the time that they did. Think of how many people are conceived because of a power failure, a nocturnal noise waking their parents, or any other such opportunity merging with the urge.

Sleep is good, death is better; but of course, The best would be never to have been born at all

What we are looking for is what is looking

The unbounded matrix which we have found in the era is that we have been pre-disposed. When I started writing this Newsletter, I did not know what all I should not write about. I wrote pretty much everything and now after 30 Newsletters and more, I am sure about what I do not want to be doing- That is- following a niche, vocation, métier. Everyone says you need to have a niche. I believe I am happy and many more can be happier if I decide to not have a niche. A niche limits. It sets out boundaries and on the surface, there is inhibition and they stagnate. Niches are made for people who are lazy I feel. Because there is not anything in this world that is inflexible enough to not be drilled, dolled or dawned. Anyone can learn anything, anytime is what this hypothesis follows. Niches subvert hypothesis. A niche is the essential selling point of a newsletter but personal blogs and arbitrary information collectives have always interested me more and made me learn more than the year-long subjects with exams and exam preps.

This Newsletter is about not giving exams. About not confirming to a system you don’t believe in. About re-basing. De-stashing ignorance and promoting a free culture. If something is interesting, worth talking about, or reading- it will be in my newsletter. Niche or no niche.

But not having a certain niche or not confirming the brackets which represent niches means no regulation or demarcation of content. it does not mean a lack of any strategy or structure. it has taken me 30 letters to write here, some taking me days- to come to a point where I can say- I now have a structure.

I always start with Non-fiction, essay, or a small reminder of how things are and were. there is a collision of the past, present, and the future hereon. Then I always make a point to include images in my texts. Images of pictures I have clicked and are worth a space, of memes, quotes, posts, and reshares which deserve a chance to be featured. I have made Belladonnaoflavender’s Newsletter a safe space and a collaborative one. I feature artists and people who are starting out, looking out for support. I love working with new energies. I want my brand to be sustainable and one way to do that is through making many more people around me sustainable.

I always hog the internet, since it came to me. I shift endlessly through a dozen articles per day and multiple links get a gander in my space. So, why not put out the best of the reads/picks? I wish I knew more people who do this! I have been sharing many such Articles and links in my stories on Instagram but that is not at all sustainable anymore as I am nowhere close to 10K even after 5 years and so well, I know this has to suck. Just how much, I am not sure. So, meanwhile, I am a monk of my own writing devices, now positing links in a letter format for my readers who are also nonreaders.

I always talk about movies, shows, and books. Always. I know these are my hobbies and passions and all that which a letter can be, it is.

I have a theme that is about changing the world. One thing at a time. One letter at a time. A recurrent theme is the hopelessness of it all. I whine and cry on paper as much as I masturbate.

I don’t want growth which is all mine

Many people unsubscribed from my newsletters too (considering we always talk about add-ons and successes, pissing people off should also be a mandate, what do you say?) Once they saw that I was not going to talk about them anymore. Those who I talk about rather are too poor to know about substack or working doubly while you and I sulk, crib, and grind out teeth in existential dreads of all imaginary kinds. Many subscribers must have unsubscribed because they hate my guts or unknowingly… who knows?

I wait for feedback to sink my teeth into- the few of them that- I receive after a lot of prodding. I asked three of my really good friends (from them who do know how to read English) what they think of my letters and this is what I got-

Freind 1- Disorganized

Friend 2- Find a niche (and hence the whole talk on Niche, because it pricks me at times- should I really have just one topic to munch on? )

Friend 3- Remove the playing with a lot of other fonts- don’t mix fonts too much (Already took this onboard)

These comments are larger than life. Because, I hardly ever receive criticism but I take it with my food, sleep, and everything in between. I love criticism. I think that is when the words are truest. The essence of having a good friend for me is honesty. My mother always asks me to focus on the bad parts, the sad parts, and the parts which are flawed, they need attention. Everything we do must come under an opinion and an umbrella of advice, the point is- I rebel a lot and so the umbrella and I never see too much rain.

In Poland," Herbert once stated, "we think of the poet as a prophet; he is not merely a maker of verbal forms or an imitator of reality. The poet expresses the deepest feelings and the widest awareness of people...” The language of poetry differs from the language of politics. And, after all, poetry lives longer than any conceivable political crisis.

"The poet looks over a broad terrain and over vast stretches of time. He makes observations on the problems of his own time, to be sure, but he is a partisan only in the sense that he is a partisan of the truth. He arouses doubts and uncertainties and brings everything into question."

Derek Parfit asks ‘how many of us could truly claim ‘‘Even if railways and motor cars had never been invented, I would still have been born’’?


  1. Schemer is driven by greed and power, or a naïf who believed her own lies and was manipulated 

  2. Fandom Has a Purity Culture Problem

  3. Did Twitter break YA? 

  4. A Complete Breakdown of the J.K. Rowling Transgender-Comments Controversy

  5. The Sad Economics of Writing Short Fiction

  6. How America Failed in Afghanistan by Issac Chotiner

  7. A Psychoanalysis of Milk: The Case of Alfred Hitchcock

  8. I Hate How Much I Love My Skims

  9. Big butts in fashion

  10. Talking about exercise is not too good

  11. Bonus- This AWESOME Sub-Reddit which will change your mind

This is a free newsletter but not cheap. If you love it, consider supporting it by buying me something from my wishlist (you can mail me) or is reader-supported, hence the lack of ads and sponsors. Thank you!

That’s it for this issue!❤

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