How to love yourself
Five ways to destress that I can't stop talking about!
Hi there! Yes, you :)
I sit in front of my laptop for sixteen hours a day, at least. That is a crazy amount of screen time. I am revising drafts, reading papers, writing papers, writing feedback, or surfing the internet. I am outside most days, thinking about my emails and the growing to-do lists. Not the writerly fairy dream that you think I am living in, right?
When I was a lawyer, I worked weekends and never slept on weekends—I was either partying with my colleagues and then-boyfriend or writing memos and notices, doing 20 hours of daily due diligence in a dingy underground or makeshifts. Half my life, I have been in academia or a part of it as a student, lecturer, professor, and teacher. I was never living— I was always surviving and trying to thrive in a rat culture. Either preparing for judiciary exams or thinking I could crack the UPSC on my first go...All that stress and all that trauma of never having lived my childhood as a child… Now, in graduate school, life feels like a broken record—I have minimal energy outside academia, and with a meager stipend, I have to make do with life at its barest with sore surroundings. I can’t complain. So, I make lists and binge-read books and watch TV for hours while I am collaging or making art that 99% of people in my life do not care for.
I do things that do not cost much and then I save to do things that cost a tad more than what I can afford. All to relax, rejuvenate, and not feel like I am crumbling.
What do you do for self-care? Any rituals? Any discoveries as you grow older?
Currently, there are five things that bring me genuine accomplishment of nourishment, joy, and relaxation:
Indulging in a luxurious bath
I do not know how many salt baths are too many salt baths?
Herbal infusions, milk baths, Epsom salt, and lavender essential oil every time, anytime. I also tried the infamous vinegar bath, and it did feel different.
I love a slow bath with refills, music, books, candles, and essential oils to overpower me as I drift in and out of my senses, destressing every little nugget of negativity from my body and mind. For a few minutes in the bathtub, my mind concentrates on scents and temperature. I think of which lotion to use and what to drink out of the bath to calm my nerves rather than which deadline is nearing or which bone hurts.
I love drawing a bath after cleaning my tub. I clean every time I go in. In addition, I find that using essential oils helps me relax, so I have had a range of them over the years that I have grown to love.
Engaging in outdoor activities/long walks/farming
Are you interested in writing a new poem? Funding a new prompt for your next workshop class? A new delicacy to share with a friend? Make it outside. Choose a venue that is outside the four walls! I cannot stress enough how much I have enjoyed going out and gathering with friends attuned to nature and animals.
Training recovery is what I call my outings—if I am not running on my exercise bike every half hour every day, I am outside walking or briskly flapping my wings for 20.
Yoga is intrinsic to my body and I cannot stress enough how yoga can help destress!
Photo by Wenger at Lakeside Lab,October, 2024 
Photo by Wenger at Lakeside Lab, October, 2024 Cupping Massage Therapy/New Era therapy
I first explored reiki around 8 years ago, and in the ensuing years, I gained experience and certification as an advanced Reiki healer. It was also through my mother and other relatives that I learned various techniques for meditation and yoga. The effects that movement and taking care of your body have on you, both mentally and physically, as well as spiritually, are something that I have witnessed firsthand.
I joined the community fitness club, and I go for massage therapy, as recommended by my physical therapist, who worked on me for months with dry needling and hot compression therapy. Through more research, I found out about the cupping therapy provided at a nearby wellness center, and I booked a session only to become a regular. A form of alternative medicine that dates back centuries is called cupping therapy. In order to initiate suction, the therapist will place specialized cups on your skin for a brief period of time. This results in an increase in the amount of blood that flows to the region where the cups are placed. This has the potential to alleviate muscle tension, which in turn can improve blood flow throughout the body and promote cell repair. It may also facilitate the development of new blood vessels and connective tissues within the tissue.
These days, my shiatsu massager works wonders when I can get it to start (I am sure I pressed myself too hard against the knots and somehow overheated the massager), yet that is very temporary and can incur self-injury if you are like me.
I cannot believe that in a few weeks I will be trying my first floatation therapy!! I am so eager to evolve myself with meditation and different therapy techniques. I feel abundantly joyful and replenished in my ways to seek out new mediums of therapy. I will also be talking about chiropractic therapy and my first experience once I get that done this month! The amount of stress that builds up in my hips, shoulders, and neck never ceases to amaze me. I have been going around town, finding therapists that can suit me.
Sauna/Steam
Immediate recovery is recovering between rapid movements, and for me, I have discovered that sweating and losing a pint of toxins works wonders, especially over the week when I do not have time to excruciate myself with hardcore exercises and study.
The production of heat shock proteins, which aid in repairing damaged cells, begins once your body reaches a certain temperature. I have been trying the hot-cold therapy by taking cold showers and sitting in the sauna for half an hour before I go for a hot steam. I am never in these systems for more than an hour and I make sure I am hydrated and well rested.
Sunbathing/forest bathing
Where can I begin about how much I have talked about absorbing the sun since I have been to the US. I think that in India, 'losing the sun' and 'escaping from the heat' occupied a larger portion of my life.
You can derive a wide range of benefits for your physical, mental, emotional, and social health by engaging in the practice of forest bathing, which involves immersing yourself in nature in a mindful manner and focusing on yourself. Breathing in and out, doing nothing, and basically meditating without conversing.
The term Shinrin-yoku is another name for it. Shinrin stands for the forest, and yoku is the Japanese word for bathing. I go every once in a while to collect promotes, write, walk, and clear my sacral. Have you ever felt the need to run away in the first? Leave everything behind? Sukoon ki chaah
It is urgent for me to communicate with nature. I take my urgency to heart and mind. I am more mindful about boosting my mental health and providing a healing space in nature around me. I never before had this chance to just let go and do what I love. Being a lawyer, I was dying slowly. Suddenly, the privilege of being in a program that rewards you with nature and harvest is something I don’t take for granted.
Until next time~! :)
The native navigated his canoe 
Loves it Shalini, very engaging and I learnt few new things. Sending lots of self care your way!
nice read :) ages ago we became acquaintances and you'd asked me if you could add my email to subscribers. I've received and read a few and today it inspires me to post something from written words in pages.